Day 1

Off to a good start

The Advent Cal(m)endar contains habits to increase clarity, focus and calmness. Every second day, I open a door and post about my experiences.

Happy December! This morning, for the first time I ran my magical R script, which prints the habit for the day on the screen. (In case you imagined some old-fashioned physical calendar, I am sorry to disappoint you. But the image above is based on a real painting!)

There are a few habits I know I will struggle with, but luckily the first one is a relatively easy one:

Meditation for at least 10 minutes

I started today with a nice walk, as it was a stunning day with crisp air, and I wanted to admire the Christmas tree now set up in my area. But then, it was time for the first meditation of at least 24!

I sat down in my armchair (yes, armchair) and tried to allow everything I noticed to just be, neither pushing it away nor following it with my thoughts. I have meditated before, and this is the approach I always use. If there is a bird sound, I notice, but without analysing (I am an occasional birder usually trying to identify birds, so this is harder than it sounds!). If I feel a sad voice inside myself, I similarly allow myself to just listen without analysis.

The way I think about it is: Everything that comes to me is welcome, but I do not add anything.

What came to me today was… well, mostly just the normal noises in my house and sensations in my body, and the realisation that I put pressure on myself to have an epiphany I can write about! But I did feel calm afterwards, and there are 23 more days for deep insights.

Why did I include this habit?

I have meditated for several years, but never on a regular basis (maybe once a week on average). I need a system to ensure I prioritise meditation, as I’m one of those people who think they must always be “doing something”, and sitting still can feel like a waste of time.

Meditation helps me with

• Seeing and accepting reality as it is

• Understanding my feelings and gaining clarity

For example, recently, after feeling numb for some days, I realised during meditation that I was still devastated about a betrayal I had convinced myself I “got over”. I could then accept the sadness, and the numbness left. It is quite amazing to me that this actually works!

Because it can stop us from pushing away uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, I believe meditation can make us better at accepting difficult realities – both at the small scale (e.g. issues in our relationships) and at the large scale (e.g. the climate crisis or threats to democracy). By “accepting” I do not at all mean “not trying to improve the situation”. I mean acknowledging reality with as little distortion and denial as possible – which is a necessary basis for making meaningful change.

What will I do for the coming 23 days?

I will meditate daily for at least 10 minutes, trying different practices:

• I will sometimes use the approach described above. I don’t use audio recordings for this but usually play some peaceful music. This method has so far worked best for me. It is similar to Vipassana meditation in the sense that it focuses on insight via observation.

• I will also try guided meditation more focused on relaxation (which I could never get into in the past).

• Metta meditation, which is about sending kindness to other people, has long fascinated me. I recently tried a guided meditation that includes spreading kindness to a person you have negative feelings towards, and I managed to genuinely wish someone well who hurt me. That felt freeing. I struggle with the idea of actively forgiving people (rather than letting it happen over time), and I think this way of meditating can help.

  

I will keep you updated! Do you meditate? Have you been on a meditation retreat or tried different forms of meditation?

I hope your December is off to a good start!

Hannah